parenting moving and making new friends

by Sheri Overton

On two different occasions, when Aaron came home from MDA summer camp and asked what was new, I’ve blurted out the news that we were moving. Now, years later, it’s a joke, but back then Aaron swore he would never go to camp again.

Moving meant ripping Aaron and his older sister Kate away from their friends and everything they knew and loved. Aaron, who has facioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy (FSHD) and uses a power wheelchair, had to work especially hard to be accepted. I’d watched children whisper and stare when he entered a room, and my heart ached seeing his loneliness and alienation. But sometimes moving just has to be done. In fact, sometimes it’s for the benefit of your child that you’re moving — better schools or better medical services. So you just “suck it up” and do what you can to get through it.

Over the course of several moves, I’ve come to believe that parents can greatly facilitate a successful transition to new friends and a feeling of connectedness.

When we made our first move, Aaron was just entering school. He missed Chris, his best friend from preschool, and I remember hearing him cry at night. I’d crawl into bed with him and we’d talk about writing Chris a letter in the morning about all the fun things we’d done in our new neighborhood. I’d suggest Aaron draw him a picture, perhaps of the new park, then add, “Let’s go to the park tomorrow and see if there are any other children to play with.” He’d become hopeful about our plans for the next day and stop crying. Then I’d go